How to Start a Godly Relationship with Boyfriend or Girlfriend

A Christian who wants to love and be loved by someone must not neglect the God factor when starting a relationship. A relationship between two believers must not be run the same way as that of unbelievers.

The Bible also emphasizes that although we are in the world we are not of the world, so we must endeavour to please God and bring glory to Him in all things including our relationship. In this article, we would be walking you by the hand on how to start a godly relationship with your boyfriend and girlfriend with a focus on the things that must be discussed, the benefits of a godly relationship and other helpful information.

Before we proceed, it is important to understand what a godly relationship is all about.

What is a Godly Relationship?

A godly relationship, formally known as courtship is a relationship that has God at the centre and is built on Christ, the solid foundation. In this context, a godly relationship is a relationship between two people, a male and female who genuinely love each other and want to proceed from friendship to a romantic relationship.

The word of God is the standard in this relationship and no activity must contradict what the Bible says. Hence,  note instructively, that the individuals in this kind of relationship must compulsorily be believers of the gospel as the Bible has commanded us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. A godly relationship is not a “lets-see-how-it-goes” relationship as the sole purpose is to prepare for marriage.

Benefits of a Godly Relationship

There are so many benefits attached to a relationship that is run God’s way and some of these benefits would be discussed below:

  1. God as the Foundation

As earlier stated a godly relationship is one that is built on God which is a sure foundation that cannot be moved. Recall, the parable of the houses, where one was built on the sand and the other was built on the rock. Even though the wind blew and it rained heavily, the one on the rock remained while the one on the sand collapsed. That is the same thing that happens when your relationship is built on the sure foundation of God— it is unshakable.

  1. Divine Guidance

A relationship where the two individuals are subjected to the leading of the Holy Spirit through the word or ministers of the gospel would be hitch-free. In a godly relationship, the Holy Spirit directs the partners on what to do and what not to do to please each other. When storms and challenges surface, the Holy Spirit through the word and other believers would help you navigate the situation so the relationship would be stress-free. A godly relationship must be accountable to someone to get the best out of it. This is because you may be too blinded by love to see areas that need to be addressed and a third party, preferably an older believer or couple may be able to point out such issues. No wonder Proverbs 11:14 says; ​Where there is no guidance people fall, but in an abundance of counsellors there is safety.

  1. Peace

Christ is the Prince of Peace and where Christ, is peace is bound to flow. Doing your romantic relationship God’s way brings about a peace that passes all human understanding. However, there may still be trials and challenges but remember that peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God. Remember the story of Jesus in the boat during the storm and how he commanded that peace be still.

Things that must be Discussed in a Godly Relationship

There are a plethora of things that should be discussed before starting or during a godly relationship. Some of them include:

  1. Spirituality

It is settled that you and your prospective partner are believers. Both of you must agree to do the relationship God’s way. Discuss how both of you would actively involve God in your relationship. You can talk about spiritual activities such as praying together, studying God’s word together and reading helpful books on relationships and marriage.

  1. Boundaries

A Christian relationship is nothing without boundaries. Note, that sexual intimacy is not allowed in a godly relationship. The Bible makes it clear that the bed must be undefiled and we must flee youthful lusts. So, involving in sexual activities such as intercourse, kissing, smooching and other activities contradicts the word of God. Recall, that individuals are meant to uphold the word of God above all things and so parameters must be set in place to walk according to the precepts of the word. Talk about boundaries that must be set that would keep you both in check and help you remain pure.

  1. Love languages

According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages and each one is peculiar to every individual. They include acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts and quality time. Discuss your love languages and understand them.

  1. Goals and Ambitions

It is important that you be with someone that has vision and knows what he or she is doing in life. Discuss your goals and vision with your partner and see if you both can support each other. If one partner does not approve of the other person’s goals and future ambition, it may cause issues in the relationship and the marriage in the long run.

What to Look for in a Partner to Start a Godly Relationship?

The following are some of the things you should look for in a partner to begin a godly relationship:

  1. Must be a believer.
  2. Must have a personal relationship with God and love and fear God genuinely.
  3. Must love you wholeheartedly.
  4. Must have values such as love, kindness, honesty, forgiveness etc.
  5. Must have a vision for himself and the relationship.
  6. Must be hardworking.
  7. Must support your dreams and aspirations.

Note that these are just some of the things you should look out for. Remember that the Bible is your standard and you must prayerfully choose a partner that would agree with you to do the relationship God’s way.


A godly relationship should be the goal of every Christian seeking to please God in their love life. We hope we have helped you understand what a godly relationship is all about and how you can go about it successfully. Recall that the end goal of a godly relationship is marriage and so do everything with the consciousness of marriage.

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